This Autism Awareness Month, be aware of me?
It’s autism awareness month. Please be aware … of me?
Autistic people are as common as redheads and green eyes. Rare, but not as rare as you may think. Also, autism runs in families and people self select social circles, so when know one autistic person, you probably know a few…
Autistic people are actually often more different from one another than allistic (nonautistic) people. It is an imprecise label still that means “not like most of you” more than a consistent idea of what we are all like. Just that the majority of people think our brains do things wrong. Or if they are more empathetic, that our brains do things in statistically anomalous ways.
So please be aware of us.
Be aware that formal diagnosis is far less common than autism.
Be aware that for every stereotype there is an equal and opposite paradox. Autistics cannot drive; autistics are massively overrepresented in the long haul trucking industry. Autistics struggle with language; autistics are surprisingly common speech and language pathologists and news readers and polyglots. Autistics are disproportionately high school drop outs and college professors. Autistics don’t have a sense of humour and are some of the world’s best comedians. Autistics lack empathy? We are disproportionately represented in helping professions like therapists and counsellors and clergy.
Be aware that we literally see, hear, smell, and feel things most other people do not. AND are disproportionately hearing and sight impaired. But sensory processing issues may be “too sensitive,” but it’s not a choice. Consider that you may be, literally and biologically, insensitive.
Be aware that society requires us to pretend to be normal, hates us when we fail, is seldom convinced for long, and uses our momentary successes against us when we need to let our guard down to recover.
Be aware that we are likelier than others to be underemployed and unemployed even when we work longer and objectively more competently than others.
Be aware that ableism is sneaky, and there is a thin line between fair criticism of autistic people and ill-informed ableism. Watch yourself for assigning moral motives to other people’s behaviours. You can dislike how someone acts, but if you are really disliking your own interpretation of their actions, you may be projecting unfairly. Are they too loud or too quiet or responding too quickly or taking too long to respond or sitting too still or fidgeting too much… or are you having too many uncommunicated expectations?
Be aware that autistic people telling the truth is seldom believed by neurotypical people. Be aware that we have sincerely “weird” answers.
Be aware that a passion for justice is part of autism. We can be annoying activists and career endangering whistleblowers. And we make the world better when allowed to.
Be aware that while we are less capable of conforming to social norms, we are not immune to hurtful bullying.
Be aware that the media portrayals of autism are misleading. Many of the best autistic characters in media are never explicitly called autistic!
Be aware that autistic children become autistic adults, and support is needed throughout life.
Be aware that theoretically progressive governments still allow stunning amounts of discrimination against autism.
Be aware that autism both commonly co-occurs with and is confused for depression, ADHD, OCD, bipolar, Ehlers-Danos, CFIDS, and fibromyalgia.
Be aware that intersectionality means other factors massively impact perception of the exact same autistic behaviour. A conventionally attractive white girl may be seen as quirky rather than autistic, which means she can be popular but receive no support. The same behaviour in an unattractive middle aged white man is called creepy. The same behaviour in a large black or Arab man can get him killed by police.
Be aware that autistic people are more likely than than allistics to be queer and trans. You can’t fully support autistic people from a position of homophobia and transphobia.
Be aware that for decades autism has mostly been discussed from the point of view of wealthy, white parents of autistic people, and that Autism Speaks is a garbage organization that, ironically, seldom lets autistic people speak for ourselves.
Be aware that most of us prefer the term autistic rather than “person with autism.” It is intrinsic to who we are; and I for one am not ashamed.
Be aware that awareness is not enough. Autistic people are worth getting to know, worth loving, worth hiring, worth dating, worth marrying, worth supporting.
Our differences are disabilities and superpowers and everything in between. I find the paradox most of us make allistics confront is that even within the same autistic person it is seldom as simple as a high or low support needs spectrum. It is simple as “98% of time you would assume X about how the human mind works and 98% of the time you may even be right, I am 2% which won’t make sense to you… but be open-minded and we will all learn something…”